America has been suffering chest pains for over a year now. It has gotten so bad, the doctors have scheduled an operation for November 8th. The patient is limping along hoping to make it that long, keeping a defibrillator nearby just in case.
The doctors point to high anxiety, social unrest, inexplicable mass murder, rampant homelessness, joblessness and poverty, drug dependency, gender conflict, and a world awash in chaos, among other symptoms. Dr. Frankenstein thinks that the patient, this giant assemblage of parts and pieces of disparate races and creeds, is approaching a debilitating stroke or even death and must undergo invasive surgery as soon as possible.
Can America survive this operation? Will America ever be the same after this contentious, divisive and destructive election campaign?
It seems like some of the slanderous claims and counterclaims have left scars too deep to heal. The metastasizing disease has been so insidious and detrimental that many other organs are suffering, unable to perform their duties.
Our schools, our military operations, our veterans, law enforcement and health services are being compromised. The news media, even our entertainment organs are morphing into propaganda machines, so people don't know who to trust anymore.
Our populace, if you listen to the candidates, is made up of racists, bigoted homophobes, angry old white men clinging to bibles and guns, and are xenophobic fear mongers, religious zealots and degenerate welfare bandits, corrupt political hacks, sociopathic lone wolves and meat eating animal haters.
And we are all going to the polls in November to see who should be in charge of who. It sounds like a movie screenplay by Tim Burton or Mel Brooks, but it is the process of sorting out what direction the most powerful force on the face of the earth will go, so the angry villagers around the world will know that the giant lives and everything is going to be OK.
When election day comes, many of us will be spending it in bar, trying to anesthetize away our pain. And when the inauguration day comes next January, if the patient survives, the results of Dr. Frankenstein's work will take the oath of office.
I have a prediction, the next President of the United States will be Abby Normal.